The Random and Somewhat Organized Thoughts of Bandana

This story is just awesome because it is so bizarre.

So i finished work at about 9:30 wednesday night and i’m coerced into having a few drinks with guys from work. Then i meet up with my roomate who’s a dishwasher at the bar across the street. She’s having a few drinks with her kitchen staff. We hang out, then hit up a nearby bar. By then, we’d dwindled to me, my roomate - kate -, sean the westindian/black/flirt with every woman i see/very attractive chef, paul the mechanical engineer, and bernadette a newfie chic with a lot of spunk. The bar was a bit sad; a revolving dance floor, and bad bad latin and reggeatone music were involved. We soon returned to hurley’s - the irish pub  - where this motley crew works. Drinks were distributed..somehow dangerous wrestling followed wherein sean managed to slightly injure bernie. We probably should have called it a night but Paul managed to tempt us with a shisha set-up in his apartment close by. So we smoked the flavored tobacco (that’s right, no pot!), argued vehemently, drank mixes of rum, orange and apple cider, listened to music new and old, told stories (involving raves, drugs and lot of not very exciting things), ate mushroom and cheese pizza and also baguette with fine cheese and salmon. (paul wanted to pawn off his smoked atlantic salmon on us as he’s a red meat kind of guy). before we new it, daylight was peeking through the curtains and in retrospect i don’t quite understand how we were neither tired nor bored at that point. (how many times can you try and convince a drunk guy feminism is a good thing?) Sean mentioned something about needing a place to crash before work - we offered a spare mattress and massage table. Finally we sauntered home, eyes squinting, at 8am, Sean in tow. Paul apparently had 4 empty beds which he offered to Sean as we were leaving but he refused in favor of our company. Drunkenly happy and carefree of course we didn’t pause to question this absurd decision.

I felt completely sobered up when i realized, on arriving at home, that the long awaited garbage day had once again arrived and pick up was scheduled for 8 am. I grabbed the grocery bags containing our trash and raced out my bedroom’s back door into the parking lot that is my patio only to see the back of the garbage truck as it drove by! Kate and i seriously considered running after it with garbage in-hand - but realized that it would’ve been pretty ridiculous.

So we proceded to get sean settled on a mattress in an area we like to call the ‘alcove’ and headed to bed.

It was impossible to really sleep with the bright sun coming in through my east facing windows so i tossed and turned and dreamt without sleeping. And as i turned to face the ceiling in the midst of my dream state, i found sean lying on top of me and staring down at me. i screamed. once i calmed down, he proceeded to try and seduce me, i proceed to drowsily ask ‘don’t you have a girlfriend?’ He lied, "no". and i even kindof believed him in my drunken/dream state. a part of me wanted to give in to his seductive energy. but i finally pushed his hands away and said  "but i have a boyfriend".  ‘"can i just kiss you?" was his reply. "no, i have a boyfriend, that wouldn’t be fair to him." (i must admit, a part of me (a drunk part of me) was cursing this alleged boyfriend at this point.. but later on, i was very very glad he existed at the time) so sean finally leaves. as he walks away, i realize he was not only brazen enough to just lie on top of me as i was sleeping but he was also buck naked!

i definitely remember saying "i feel like i’m dreamin" at some point. it was just so bizarre.

i hear coming and going and finally awake and shower. i find kate in the kitchen - who’s returned from some errands - and she whispers that sean is still here - in her room. Where he spent the rest of night!

so kate and i start discussing all the many bizarre and interesting details of our…mornings,i guess. finally, sean yells ‘i can hear you guys!’ and we erupt into giggles. somehow nothing is a big deal at this point. when normally i would be fuming with anger at this sneaky playa type, i was just amused at the entire thing.

from that point on, nothing is a big deal, and it seems that my life in montreal now consists of working hard to get shit done and when the feeling strikes letting it all drop by the wayside and taking that break whether at a random festival, drinks with friends or a late night walk with the roomate to grap some fries with special mayo sauce. so what if those breaks are of the daily nature? um.. yeah.. breaks..are good. and that’s the obligatory moral of this weeks blog.

Montreal. My first month here has been a whirlwind of dissapointments and joys. There have been many struggles in my life since I’ve arrived. Failing my practical massage test (i had to massage the examiner and she hated me, I swear!) over a month of telemarketing, discovering that bilingual in Ontario does not mean bilingual in Montreal, and that yes, this is still a unilingual city.

But despite the many struggles, I still love this city.

Where else can you leave your shitty job and on your walk home, catch the tail end of a really amazing free concert?

Or like I did tonight, grab a grilled veggie pita sandwich involving fried potatoes, eggplant and tahini. (Montreal is not known for being health concsious!)

Ok, the Jazz Fest involved a little adventure this year.. This story needs little background..When I was in Maui, someone recommended this old album from the late 50s by Etta James (because they didn’t have any Bessie Smith). I became obsessed with this woman’s music. A powerhouse of a singer - she sings At Last and Sunday Kind of Love (featured in a recent commercial). So when I saw that she was playing at the Jazz Fest this year (I didn’t even think she was still alive!), I was confidant I’d find a way to go.

So it’s Canada Day, I’ve just been shafted out of the douple pay promised to us by our shitty company and I have my first day off after a long couple of weeks. Off I go to the Jazz Fest. Of course at this point, I can’t afford the $50 Etta James concert so I convince myself she’s really old and probably not gonna do the old songs that I really like and that this free jazz concert is also pretty good. So, of course, the jazz singer stops and decides to tell us a story about how much she loves Etta James (who’s playing across from her) and won’t get to see her since she’s playing at the same time.. and of course that just makes me feel even more sorry for myself and realize that no, i really, really, really wanna see her!

So, realizing that its about the time the concert’s starting I find myself moping around the entrance of the hall - hoping to hear a glimmer of a note sung by Etta. Nope, no sound. Can I make a break for it, I wonder? Nope, a nearby security office and 2 ticket people per entrance…probably not a good ratio. Maybe someone will feel pity for me and cut me a break, (I’m close to tears at this point). I ask the ticket sellers if they have discounts once the concert’s started.. "um its sold out, and no we don’t" they respond with a distinct lack of pity.

But wait, there must be another entrance, downstairs perhaps? Oh.. just parking.

So by now, I’m all out of options and I’m pretty upset, my life is a mess and the one thing that’s always made me feel better is in a room I can’t get into!

So I leave, and as I’m walking by the building, I see the stairs, Yes! the rooftop terrace! there might be a window where I can look in and see her! But, who are all these well-dressed people with drinks in hand.. ahhh.. its intermission. Maybe I can sneak in! But no, there’s a ticket person at the only entrance.. I mope and mope somemore.. there’s no way now.. I’ve been moping around the door so long I look way too suspicious to make a move.. I mope past the Exit-only doors.. ‘but what if.. someone were to let me in?’, im thinking, just as someone leaves through that very door! And in i go! And Oh My God!

I was sooo freaked out! I hid in the bathroom until the first song was well over and then stood at the back of the dark hall convinced that the ticket people, who were everywhere, would be kicking me out any second. Then this crazy lady kept hanging out by me to escape the ticket lady who kept trying to talk to her.. Finally she left. And the ticket lady approached me. I dont know what she said, but i explained i was alone and didn’t want to ask people to move and was it ok to stand at the back? and she was like, yeah, and brought me over a chair! i was like.. um, sweet.. 2 standing ovations, many familiar songs and one amazing audience-dancing-and-clapping-encore later.. I felt reassured once again by Etta James (in person) that I just needed to pull it all together and pick myself up and sometimes everyone feels like Sugar on the Floor.

I had almost forgotten how great it can feel when you’re so happy that you don’t even care it’s raining and you’re getting wet! Instead of the rain upsetting or worrying you, it makes you even happier! So, I stood in the drizzle and listened to these younger blues/jazz singers blow my mind once more that night at another concert I didn’t even have to break into.

Finally! I get it! The wonder and beauty of this place called Maui!!

I got my first decent break from school - American Thanksgiving - gorged myself in the company of a few classmates on food and beer.. and Chris Rock recordings..

Got up at 10am the next morning and started preparing for a 3 day bike trip with my friend Henry.

I was lucky enough to have just been lent a bike by a classmate who has two. But neither of us had bike racks so we carried back packs with our tent/stove/food/sleeping bags/clothes etc.

There were uphill climbs that lasted for hours and downhill curves that made me fear for my life.. by the end of the trip those same curves because a source of exhilaration and joy  - especially since we were also looking down on valleys of lush green against waves crashing in the ocean..

I haven’t biked (or exercised other than walking and yoga) in a long time. So it was pretty hard but whenever i saw the ocean, i found more energy.

The first night we camped in a park by a church by the ocean.. we found a cute little private beach.. trespassing was involved.. it was a young part of the island and as the waves crashed the rocks tumbled around and hit our legs or we were tumbled around onto rocks.. we quickly decided to stick to swimming in the pool of cold fresh water - fed by a stream and running right into the ocean.. we were surrounded by palm trees and other greenery..it was pretty fucking cool..

That night we stared at the sky full of stars and i taught Henry how fun it is to spin under the stars. Its like they wrap around you as you gain momentum and they streak around the sky.

We headed off the next morning, not sure how far we’d get.. somehow meeting every Indian family on vacation on the island (im not kidding - like 3 in one day!). We decided to visit a waterfall close to sea level. We completely reversed that 4 hour climb (which was like 5 miles) down a road famed for its lushness to the sea. and it was wicked fast and beautiful - lush and green speeding by. We found the ocean crashing against the rocks.

And then on our way up found the treasure we’d been seeking.. a small waterfall and a swimming hole - the kind they show in honeymoon ads.. It was gorgeous. All surrounded by trees and dappled sunlight. The water cold and soothing on our mosquito bitten, tired bodies. It was like a dream. Apparently George Harrison had an estate there. It figures.

With our spirits renewed we climbed back up the road and got back to the camp by sunset. We struggled to make a fire with some damp driftwood on the rocky beach. It was like magic when it worked. Then we had our little prepacked indian meal with rice and headed to bed.

Of course as two massage therapists, the bike trip would not be complete without a nightly flushing of the toxins and attention to sore lowerback and neck muscles.

Somehow, i still didn’t sleep too much but it was amazing hearing the ocean working over those black lava rocks. Growling and crashing.

We fueled up on fresh banana bread and went home. The third day, I felt stronger and calmer. It rained on us all day. After the first hill it felt great to be drenched. We finished with a 2 hour upward climb to my house (which is partway up a crater) and felt absolutely victorious.

I learned a lot in those three days. Such as.. Wow, exercise is not so bad, i guess.

Living in ‘Paradise’ sure is stressful sometimes.. As all living is, im sure.

I’ve been pretty focused on school, cooking, eating, and sleeping the past couple of months and of course.. thinking, reflecting and over-analyzing all kinds of shit that maybe just needs to sit for a while.

Apparently if we struggle against something and then just let go and relax.. ‘it’ will just come to us.. so i walk more, i started babysitting.. i feel like im not doing real work and getting paid to get kid therapy.. the kid is so cute..

My new roomate is leaving again.. Looking forward to more time alone… I like alone..

Making neighborhood friends though.. Me and underage Adan from Cali spent Fri night unwinding with some JD, Johnny Cash (his contribution) and homemade choc chip cookies and almond milk (my contribution)..

Sunday was probably the first day I’ve completely relaxed on the beach. I usually go alone and am kindof tense about creepy guys and leaving my stuff around. But this time i went with my roomate (his last day on the island) and we just lay in the sand as the waves crept toward us.. i had forgot how nice it is to not care if im dirty.. Hitchiking back took longer than usual but we got to ride in back of a pickup as we watched the sun set and the city lights below get brighter.. All in all a day of deep peace.

Still a little stressed out about getting six pairs of sheets for clinic, being a good therapist in clinic, getting to my babysitting job, what to do on holidays etc etc.. but looking forward to practicing lomi (hawaiian msg on classmates), going for some real hikes and more living room dancing!!

Hope you all enjoyed the leaves change.. :O)

So here i am in ‘paradise’.. where the weather is bizarrely perfect and fruit falls off neighbours trees for me to eat.. Today - two passionfruit.

I feel somewhat guilty for being such a boring person. I haven’t seen the island. (Which means i’m missing out on volcanic craters, rainforest, beaches & waterfalls..). I only go to the beach like once a week, if that.. I am proud of my sand burn though, from the wave throwing me onto the shore..

But i have a lovely little room in a lovely little house which is surrounded by fields.. (and cows!) and avocado trees.. from where i also see some beautiful sunsets and the stars at night!

I have also discovered my living room is extremely conducive to the crazy one-person living room dance party! Bizarre movements interjected with bursts of giggling at self in conveniently located full length mirror..

I also find my kitchen to be just right for the efficiency cook.. its that 20 min dinner prep that’s actually healthy.. from cocunut soup and udon noodles to avocado and havarti sandwiches to chana bhatura (fried sourdogh flat bread.. soooo good)..

i think this is how i make friends.. i have to like bribe people to come over for the study group..

good ol’ studying.. its such a comfort zone for me.. so in my element. Actually, i just aced our first really hard anatomy quiz! yea muscles!

Really excited about everything i’m learning.. Our whole class loved the Hawaiian massage - lomi lomi - which is like a hug, its so loving and spiritual,  yet deep. I can’t wait to get double lomi! (two people massaging me at once!

So yeah, someone should come visit me and make me unboring…

Though i’m not totally boring.. I managed to see a movie called ‘warrior’ in hindi! it was beautiful!

I also take aikido and really like it. Everything in my life is about energy and love and healing right now. It’s nice.

Anyway, there is hope for me yet. I’ll probably take the long wkd (nov) to go to Hana - southern point - rainforests, beaches, waterfalls. And may visit the crater for star-gazing next new moon..

i think most of you know i’ve been living in toronto..my first urban living experience. quite the contrast for little suburban girl here..from it being rare that there are pedestrians on the sidewalk to a guy actually sleeping standing up, drool running onto his jacket, on my corner.. the city is bursting with insanity.. its nice to be on the saner side for once..

so far, been to a lot of bars just handing out resumes.. for bartending jobs..getting some ’sure ill pass that on to the manager’s…finally someone told me you’re supposed to buy something, then make friends with the bartender (!!)…then slip in how you’re looking for a job.. i think i’ve only got a lot of onion rings left to show for it so far..

got rejected from two places cuz i’m not a guy, one cuz i’m not a white guy! and that’s the indian restaurant,wanna be club..!

i hate awkward approaching, patronizing, polite, rejection..

hey, maybe that’s how guys feel trying to pick up girls..!

hmm.. well, at least i got to reject someone along the way.. drinking my wine alone at the bar.. he was nice enough.. people to talk to you -having no phone, and opposite schedules of roomates makes for a lonely bandana.. oh, those desperate 29 year olds..

can’t wait to have money to buy that dress. gotta have the dress..

can’t wait to play tennis in the lit courts on my corner!!

mmmmmmmmmmmmeow.. i had a too long nap but i think i really will go to sleep for real again anyway… going to bars and window shopping is so exhausting!

b bop

Wow, a laziness i thought i’d left behind in my highschool summer do-nothing but sleep in and watch t.v. days.. back with the assistance of mind-numbing job i’m sick of.. well, i can’t believe i made it almost a year working for Da Man.. i’ve been close to breaking many a time.. but never this close.. like visualizing handing in a resignation.. trying to imagine a situation where i could quit dramatically and with indignation at some unjust occurance.. well, its good i have a book to read.. keep my mind off those depressing thoughts.. but it is about 3 men’s night knowing they’re doomed to an unjust death in the morning.. Le Mur - Jean Paul Sartre.. and yes, im reading it in french.. hopefully i get past the first 25 pages this time..

well, i had one goal for the day ..and i accomplished it! chocolate chip cookies.. :b  i guess its the only way to do things.. one day at a time.. wow.. i sound like an alcoholic! Something i have seriously considered taking up.. i guess that’s what growing up is all about.. gaining a first hand understanding of why people become dependant on intoxicants.. :S